Re: Today Show segment on children’s birthdays

This morning, Anne Curry of NBC interviewed Camille Chatterjee, the editor of Parenting Magazine about children’s birthday parties. Although the actual article on msnbc.com is balanced and offers some great tips on creating fun without breaking the bank, the Today Show slant was that parents go overboard, spend too much and are too excessive.
Chatterjee sited a Parenting Magazine poll of parents as their scientific basis for their assertions. Based on their reader's responses, She made several assumptions. Based on my own experience entertaining at several thousand birthday parties in Arizona over the last two decades, I will share my observations:



Point: 22% of parents report that the birthday child had a "melt down" at their own party.
Counterpoint: 78% did not and probably had a great time, it’s the cup ½ full or ½ empty??? Have the party and let the child mingle and enjoy in his or her own way. The stress could be coming from the mother ordering them here or there… "pose for this picture…" "smile for me…" "say hi to Aunt Gertrude…." "come thank Uncle Bobby for coming…." It’s their party, just let them have fun.



Point: The child won’t remember anyway so don’t have the big party until he/she is 4 or 5 years old.
Counterpoint: Well if they won’t remember, don’t do anything until they are 4 or 5...no Disneyland…no trips…no Phoenix Zoo…just keep them home…maybe in a box like BF Skinner. Children should be enriched with all of life’s social experiences at a very early age. Imagine the behavior of a 4 year old who has never been to a party or big social event???
For many cultures the 1st and 2nd birthday are milestones to be celebrated. Birthday parties are wonderful social and family gatherings that teach community and sharing and interaction in a safe environment where the child is surrounded by those who love and protect him.



Point: Only invite guests that total 1 plus the child’s age.
Counterpoint: Many people have large families or extended families. Who do you purposefully exclude?? Many schools require inviting the whole class so that no feelings are hurt. (Not everyone has to attend.) Again, birthdays are a great family social event to be celebrated and shared by the number of people that you and your child want to share it with, not the number recommended.



Point: Incredibly, parents begin planning the birthday 2 months in advance.
Counterpoint: Incredible?? No. That really isn’t soon enough if there is a certain venue or type of entertainment that you want. Many parks in our area are booked up even 7 months in advance. Halls and banquet facilities can be booked up over a year out. Although we can even help people the day before the party, that parent does need to be flexible on what type of entertainment they want and the available times.



As you know, television is immediate and fast paced, segments are limited and need to have the greatest impact in the shortest time. Therefore, it is understandable that they would seize the sensational angle in light of the success of the "My Super Sweet 16" program on MTV. But basing the article on a reader survey, especially the same survey that showed 71% send "thank you" notes but only 41% receive them (where did the 30% go???) is a flawed premise. I have blogged the article for you to read below. For the same reasons you should not let your child's friends' parties influence your decision, you should not let the Today Show prevent you from creating the party and memories you and your family will share for ever.